Over the past year or so, I've been reading and occassionally commenting on two personal, anonymous blogs that support the 'ex-gay' viewpoint. One blog recently disappeared after its 'ex-gay' author's dwindling posts seemed to express his own disillusionment with his struggle.
And this evening, another prominent blogger admitted that the ex-gay struggle she has been part of is now over. This blogger's news is particularly sad since it involves a straight marriage and family. Also, the blogger has been so active in the blog community, sincere, and a caring voice, that I really do wish her and her family the best outcome. I would even argue that a struggling ex-gay should suck it up and at least finish raising their family before giving up the ex-gay experiment. But that is probably unrealistic.
Since I'm mostly a lurker on ex-gay blogs, I don't feel it is appropriate to rain on another person's faith and hope. Although I express my own faith and experience, I try not to attack or dismiss others' beliefs. Right now, I really don't feel it is appropriate to comment on some of these blogs. I hesistate to even post my thoughts here because I really don't want to appear to gloat. But these blogs do remind me of my own tailspin out of the ex-gay movement and religious fundamentalism. It was very confusing and scary to go from a highly idealized, black and white faith to a more pragmatic, questioning faith. Certainty was the appeal of the ex-gay movement and religious fundamentalism. Your sexuality doesn't match-up with doctrine? No problem. Ex-gay ministry will diagnosis the root causes the prescribe the cure. Seek an understanding of God, life, morality? No problem. Religious fundamentalism has all the necessary answers (as long as you ask the right questions). When the cracks in the foundation of these beliefs began to appear, I remember clinging to formula (pray, read the Word, discipline, etc.). Unfortunately, I ultimately felt like a failure for questioning my faith and not succeeding.
Assuming these are authentic, sincere bloggers, I'm glad they have willing to share their journeys with the rest of us and I hope they continue to share their experiences.